cat_eyes_mrsgb

Well it seems that it has been almost two years since I actually did any posting, and my do I feel like a slacker. Hmmm... But seeing as though I have some really interesting things I need to say I will, but not right now. I have to go to the gym. *sighs* I have fallen to that aweful trend, not for any real reason other than getting even with a boy. lol.

Yes, dear reader(s). I have semonilla food posioning. Not the greatest thing in the would to have, but it is not as scary as everyone made it out to be. I thought I was going to die, but the doc sat me down and said "It will all be over in 4-7 days, just wait it out," so that is what I am doing.. waiting. luckly for me they have cut me hours this week and I have the next couple of days off. Yay! But that means that I am just going to be sitting in fron of the computer all weekend. *Sighs* lol.

Ok I have been up for like... ummm... two hours-ish and what have I done in that amount of time? NOTHING, this is such an awesome feeling! I am sooooooooooooo happy! I also know that I just posted like what, maybe twevle hours ago and for most of that I was sleeping, but I felt that I should post something.

I most definatlY feel like writting to day, but the thing is that I want to go to B&N and read... and I MUST make cookies! No for me but for the girls at work... *Sighs helplessly* So many fun activities so little time... *Sniffles* teehee

My god, I can not get Malaguena out of my head... Damn the Madison Scouts! lol, not really. I am in a good mood BECAUSE I have NOTHING to do tomorrow. I get to sleep in... I get to pig out... I get to do whatever the heck I want! Yay! Ooo, I also just finished MJD's newst book "Undead and Unreturnable." Luckily for me here are also two other books of her's that came out on the same day and that is going to give me something to read untill Katie Macalister's book of PIRATES! come out. *Counting the days till it comes out*

I do so Love Pirates!

Trivia Question...

Napoleon the third was related to Napoleon Bonaparte. What did they both have in common? which war was Napoleon III a part of?

Well, dear friends, life is going to start calming down before to long and I will be devout in my postings as I once was. This is all part and parcial to the fact that 1)Marching season will be over this sunday! 2.) I am quitting my horrid horrid job cause I have a new one and 3) I will not have to freak out about school so much.

Next week will be my off week, minus work cause I do have bills to pay, but there will be no school, no band, no dad, and no getting up at crazy hours. I will be able to work on my sites and finally have a minute to write my book! So YAY!

I have been a bit sick latly and that is never fun. Got in a fight with my serogat mom, we still aren't talking, but I will be damned if I have to apologize for having an oppinion and not wanting to bitch about a junior in high school. I have a boy friend, which I must admit it a novel experiance. I mean that I have had boy friends before but this one is so... so... I don't know. But I really like him.

My boss at the high school is getting divorced and that is kind of sad. I can't say that I have ever really met his wife, I mean she seemed pretty cool but *shrugs* I guess not. I don't think that I believe in divorce. Marrige isn't something that should be taken lightly, and unless there is cheating and/or abuse and/or endangerment to you or your family you really should try and work things out. Now this belief is not based on the religious princapals but rather on what I grew up with. My mom and dad didn't get divorced and niether did their parents or their parents and it wasn't exactly like they were soul mates, they just made things work. For me it really is "till death do us part" cause you have commited your life to some one and something. Now there has been a divorce in my family, my brother, but his wife wanted it and she had cheated on him, and well I guess I saw how he took it and what it did to our family and I don't like it. Seperations... yes, that I can see, you need a minute to take a breather from this person cause the rest of you life is a LONG time to be with some one day in and day out. But divorce? Ew... *sigh* Ah, well. Not my choice, and it really doesn't matter now does it?

Motownphilly- by Boyz II Men

Doin' a little east coast fling
Boyz II Men going off
. . . . .

. . . . .
Philly is slammin'
Boyz II Men, ABC, BBD
. . . . .

Never skipped a beat, na
. . . . .
Jet black Benz, plenty of friends
And all the Philly steaks you could eat
. . . . .
Back in school we used to dream about this everyday
Could it really happen? Or do dreams fade away
. . . . .
They said it sounded smooth
So we started a group and here we are
. . . . .

. . . . .
Motownphilly's back again
Doin' a little east coast fling
. . . . .
Not too hard, not too soft

. . . . .
The spotlight is on us now
Watch us do this
. . . . .

Live and direct from Philly town
. . . . .
We are ready to roll
So now the world will know that we were
. . . . .
Back in school we used to dream about this everyday
Could it really happen? Or do dreams fade away
. . . . .
They said it sounded smooth
So we started a group and here we are
. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .
Doom doom doom da da, doom doom doom da da
Da di da di da da, da da, daa daa daa
. . . . .
Da di da di da da, da da, daa daa daa

. . . . .
Chorus

ho hum.... lol. I don't really have anything interesting to say. For once it would seem that I am truely speachless... *Gasp!*

No no.. that isn't entirely true... I am alive. I have three jobs, School, and a ton of other crap that I am dealing with. On the whole life is pretty good.

By "little Sister" that is not actually my little sister, had her break down the other day. It was a good thing, she had been holding in all of this pain and when she finally gave in it was for the best. The paralles of her senior Drum Major and my year is scary. . . ACK just got called into work. Must dash!

Well gentle readers, Yesterday was CU band day... I wasn't very pleased with how that preformance went, but the judges said many nice things so that was good. I think that we will do well this year, but one can only see... lol. I also found something out about meself... I am intense and I like to be good instead of having fun, fun can be had while getting good...*Shrugs* Ah well... I guess that clashes with other people. Any hoodles.... I want a book NOW! So bored... Blah

So, I had started this day with the resolution to be happy and perky and not let anything come in my way. Well, that was shot to hell. Oh, everything started out wonderfuly, really. I had a good rehersal with the band, I got to hang out with my little sister, and I just generally felt pretty good. But I got to the Library at about 4 and called home, no one answered and my sister (who had called me earlier) told me that she had been trying to reach dad all day and he never answered, so I checked the messages on the Voice Mail. First one was from my dad, he was in the emergency room and needed someone to come down there and that I should get a hold of my brothers. That was at about 12, and Like I said it was 4. I freaked and called everyone, and got ahold of no one. Any ways long story short. My dad can't drive, my brother is mad at me, and I was crying my eyes out, dress rehersal was cancelled, AND I have finals tomorrow. Yeah... I am done. I quit! Well, not really, but I would if I could! *sigh* So sleepy... blah... I guess that I should go to bed. 5 AM comes aweful early! And I can't really think....

Yes, yes.. I find my self very busy at this very moment. Why? Well, I have been working, going to school, rehersing for a play (that is this Thursday), and have gotten another job that I am supper excited about. I am a band geek through and through, a fact which I proudly admit. I have gotten a job working at my old high school as a woodwind tech, and I am supper excited. Mr.Williams seems really cool and he has asked my oppinion on loads of things. I am also finding myself not likeing my old director, the very man that I thought my self in love with, as much. He is a cool guy but I am finding that absenence does not in fact make the heart grow fonder. I was a fool to think myself in love, hell, I don't even believe in young love. I lost Cressi over that very notion, but there I stood believing he was the one. HAHA! I am so silly some times, I think that it was just the idea of what he ment to me that I was in love with and not he him self. He was the first person besides my mom to make me really feel that I was worth something and I clung on to that. ANY HOODLES! Back to the business. I am finding that I am not sleeping that well, there is just so much that needs to get done and that I have so little time that in which to do it in. Ack! What is worse is that I still fill like that I am going no where, there is nothing that is making it any better. I guess that I am just in that rut and I won't get out of it very soon.

Ah, well.. Oh yeah, Lizzy and I are also not getting along so well. She doesn't seem to really try and be my friend. Everything that she is doing is just so much more important. I have offered her advise, but she refuses to listen. How can someone with such big dreams not want to make it? May be I am a fool for thinking all of this, but I want what is best for her. I am supurb at giving advise yet terrible at actually taking my own. I will not be walked on, I am tired of it. And as layed back as everyone thinks that Lizzy is, she is really a drama queen. Not that I am not, but I admit it. *shakes head* I have had my mix feelings, and I just don't know what to do. It seems that I really don't have any real friends left. I am just kind of sheltered away from the world and I want to be out there.

Oh well... Enough of my bitching. I think that I am gonna get some sleep before school. Hope everyone is well, and all that Jazz.

Yeah, I know I just posted but I thought that I wouyld post again. I am in a good mood today, Got me a nap! Hizzah!Ok here are some fun links...

http://www.livejournal.com/users/cat_fdm/ :This is my story blog thingy that I am writting. Like with all live journals you have to work your way up from the bottom.

www.fobiopatel.com/dongles/archives/2005/01/in_the_spirit_o.php : go to O-Zone: Dragostea Din Tei
Music Video: Windows Media Player ][ Flash Player (low quality)
In Concert: Real Player... and whatch those VERY YUMMY Romanian boys... I know, I know I am obsessed.

http://www.freewebs.com/litmasterring2/ : and this is my Lit page that I want to get running one of these days. I need authors though... lol.

"Oriunde Ai Fi"

Am privit-o in ochi, ultima oara
Lacrimile curgeau, erau atat de amare
Ma ruge sa n-o uit, simtea ca-i ultima vara
Iar eu ii spuneam asa iubire nu moare.
Nu stiam ca era ultima noapte
Cand puteam fi atat, atat de aproape
Imi amintesc doar vorbe desarte
Cand o priveam in ultima noapte.

Ultima privire mi-a ramas in amintire,
Ultima dezamagire nu o pot uita...

[Refren:]
Oriude ai fi, eu te voi gasi
Oriunde tu ai fi, eu te voi iubi
Oriunde-n noapte sau zi te voi gasi
In sinea mea cand voi iubi
Dulcea mea, amara mea...te voi gasi

In fiece seara cand incerc sa adorm,
Plang si ascult piesa ei preferata,
Caci ma face s-o simt ata de aproape
Imi aminteste de noi se di ultima noapte
Ultimul sarut pe buxele reci
Il simt tremurand cu gura amara
Te sarut in vis nopti intregi
Ca pe o fantoma reala, di ultima vara

Ultima privire mi-a ramas in amintire
Ca un vis, ca o poveste disaruta in nori...

[Refren:]
Oriude ai fi, eu te voi gasi
Oriunde tu ai fi, eu te voi iubi
Oriunde-n noapte sau zi te voi gasi
In sinea mea cand voi iubi
Dulcea mea, amara mea...te voi gasi

In noapte sau zi te voi gasi
Te voi iubi amara mea...te voi gasi

[Refren:]
Oriude ai fi, eu te voi gasi
Oriunde tu ai fi, eu te voi iubi
Oriunde-n noapte sau zi te voi gasi
In sinea mea cand voi iubi
Dulcea mea, amara mea...te voi gasi

Te voi iubi in noapte, sub cerul plin de stele
Ca-n visuile mele, cand te voi gasi
Te voi strange-n brate, ca-n ultima noapte
Mereu voi fi aproape, cand te voi...gasi...

[English translation:]

I've looked her in the eyes for the last time
Tears fell down, they were so bitter
She asked me not to forget, it felt like the last Summer
While I said something like: "Love never dies".
Didn't knew that it was the last night
When it was so, so near
I remember only this
When I saw her the last night
Last sight kept me remembering
Last disappointment that I won't forget.

Wherever you are I will find you
Wherever you are I will love you
Whenever, night or day I will find you
When will I love you to myself
My sweet one, my bitter one... I will find you...

Every evening when she tries to go to sleep
Cry and listen a piece of her preference
Because I make and I sense her so much closer
She reminds me of us and of our last night
The last kiss on cold lips
I sense her trembling with bitter mouth
I kiss you all night in a dream
That's the real ghost of the last Summer
Last sight kept me remembering
Like a dream, like a tale lost in clouds

Wherever you are I will find you
Wherever you are I will love you
Whenever, night or day I will find you
When will I love you to myself
My sweet one, my bitter one... I will find you...

At night or at day I will find you
I will love you my bitter one... I will find you...

Wherever you are I will find you
Wherever you are I will love you
Whenever, night or day I will find you
When will I love you to myself
My sweet one, my bitter one... I will find you...

I will love you at night under the starry sky
Like in a nice dream of mine I will find you
I will hug you tightly like the last night
I will always be near you
When I find... you.

Look it is even complete with translation for those of you playing the Home game! Yay!

"Fiesta De La Noche"

Hello everybody, noi suntem O-zone,
am venit pentru dmneavoastra,
sub fereastra, s v
cint m ceva...cantecele de dor...
O-zone pentru voi in aceasta seara,
pentru voi in scena...Picasso...Radu, Arsenie
si Dan...hey...multa galagie...mai tare...si
inca mai tare...sa se auda peste hotare,
pentru toata lumea Fiesta de la Noche...

Dansam in ritmul noptii
Si ne distram cu adevarat
Sa veniti cu totii
La fiesta de la noche (de la noche)
Dansam sub cerul instelat
Noi si noi emotii
La fiesta de la noche
Orice, vreau orice noapte sa fie
Fiesta de la no...de la noche
Si vreau acum, acum O-zone!

[Refren:]
La fiesta de la no...de la noche
no...de la noche
de la noche
la fiesta de la noche.

Vreti multa energie?
Si sa innebuniti cu noi?
Atunci sa fie...la fiesta de la noche!
De la noche,
Zburam ca-n lumea de apoi
In centrul galaxiei
La fiesta de la noche
Orice, vreau orice noapte sa fie
Fiesta de la no...de la noche
Se aude in boxe O-zone

[Refren:]
La fiesta de la no...de la noche
no...de la noche
de la noche
la fiesta de la noch

Ok, I had my first blind date today. It was a new experiance. lol. The guy was really nice, cute too. He had dark brown hair and nice light light almost yellow brown eyes (All though I must say that I am a green or Blue fan in the Eye department.) He was talller than me and that was nice concidering I am about 5'9". He is a music major and a really nice guy with a great sense of humor. But I didn't feel it... You know? He seems like one of the guys that I would rather be friends with. And most of the guys I know become my friend, I don't exactly exude Girlfriend material, I am more like one of the guys, they all think that I am a man trapped in a females body, or a gay guy. lol. (I am really girly, but never as girly as the rest of my friends and I doesn't help that I am smart and like to argue, so they always just morph me into their "dude" group. Not that I mind, but some times...) Any ways, I just think that we both felt like we would be better off being friends. There was nothing wrong with him at all I had fun, we went to see the fantasic four and got some Ice Cream and hung out in a part cause it was way to nice to just hang in doors all day. We talked about music and life and all that fun stuff that comes with going on a date. I guess that I was content, but he seemed like a friend nothing to make me go gaga over. I know that sounds mean but I think he felt it too.

Then it was time for the change of colour. Yes, the hair had to change, just like many things in my life. For the last year and a half I have been experimenting with colour. In Dec. of 2003, I dyed my hair a darker brown with red highlights. January (after my mom had passed away) the hair went to BLACK and stayed that way till may, when it went to a dark dark dark brown cause I couldn't dye over the black. There have been variations of colour in between then and now. The latest move before this one being red red red highlights on dark dark dark brown hair (high lights that faded to orange, but tha was ok) And then a BRIGHT red streak in the front. So it was time for a change. I was also asked by the director of my play to do it. So I now have dark brown hair, a little dark than what is natural but since all my other hair... I.e. Eyebrows... is black it looks natuaral... minus the red that still lingers in the front, but it is a really dark red that just adds effect. I like it. LOTS!

What else happened to day. Oh yeah, I saw my best guy friend that I think I kinda like. Oy, ok, I know I like him. He is my Gertrude (long story)... he was my Junior Drum Major... he is my Dan. I haven't seen him in ages, since he graduated (he is a year younger than me) and I never realize how much I miss the kid till I see him. It is weird like that. I don't know why it happens it just does. He was such a jerk to me but I was evil to him, we fight and don't talk for a couple of months and then it was like nothing had ever happened, I am his best friend and he is one of mine and definatly the best guy friend, he says that I made him a stronger person and that I have always been there for him, and yeah... *sniffles* But he again is one of the guys that has catagorized me as one of the "dudes" and I guess that I am fine with that cause he has a habbit of not committing (not that I am looking for committment, I am only 19 and I have plans with my life... College namely and then to start working, and I don't want to feel tied to anything, but if I am dating you I would like to know that you aren't seeing anyone else...duh!) and breaking hearts and that would just be aweful for what we have. We tried dating but it kind of went no where... just kind of blah. But I always feel like there is something more but it never works out and we just exsist. I really do miss him, we don't hange nearly as much as we should...Ah well, just another change in life.

I have made a List of up comeing changes... Yes... New store for work (YAY!), new hair, new school, new friends but keeping the old ones, and new out look on life. I just need a little while to figure out my direction. *Nods* I need to get my life rolling and now is that time!

"Dar Unde Esti"

[Refren:]
Dar, unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
Te caut in somn -
Unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
In vis ma urmaresti?
Unde esti?

Te caut in visele mele,
Sa-ti spun cat imi doresc,
Sa ma privesti ca-nainte
Cand incercai sa iubesti.

Te vreau aici langa mine
Sa te-ncalzesc numai eu.
Cu-o aripa zbor fara tine
Te caut mereu...

[Refren:]
Dar, unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
Te caut in somn -
Unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
In vis ma urmaresti?
Unde esti?

Dar, unde esti, iubito?
Unde sa te gasesc?
Inima-mi arde zdrobita
Cand ochii tai nu-mi vorbesc.

Te vreau aici langa mine
Sa te-ncalzesc numai eu.
Cu-o aripa zbor fara tine
Te caut mereu...

[Refren:]
Dar, unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
Te caut in somn -
Unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
Dar, unde esti?
In vis ma urmaresti?
Unde esti?

I love this song...It makes me happy and I dance. Sorry about the earlier post I was feeling pretty crappy about life. I feel better now that I am getting full details on my date. By the way.. it is a blind date, but the girl that set us up went out with him first and said he was good looking and had many things in common with me... Music Major (I am a music ed and Euro history major), goes to the school I want to go, and seems generally just very chill... Hope all goes well... *blinks*

Oy, I am having such a day. So ok, right, my mom pasted away about a year and a half ago and I was kind of adopted by another lady. She has been like the mom that I lost, but then she kind of stopped talking to me for a while and got mad at me when we last saw eachother. And that is fine whatever, but she got mad at me last night and didn't decide to tell me until today, when I was in class... I thought that it was an emergency cause no one calls me in class... heck no one calls me, but she just wanted to tell me what a bad mean person I was, because last night I had been hanging with her daughter (one of my best friends) and another friend that had made my life hell for almost three years of my life. we joked about those times in a very sarcastic kind of way and she said that I was rude and mean! Me! mean! Ha! I am super passive agressive and yeah, I have my mood swings... who doesn't? But I hated the fact that she decided that she need to scolde me, I am 19 and I already had a mom and she did NOT need to be talking to me Like I was some kind of child! Adopted mom or no She was totally out of line and I can't really put into words how hurt I was by the things that she said! *Cries* Why do people have to be mean to me like this?

I am so done with everything! Life is crashing toward me with a speed that I can't handle. I want my mommy and a good solid hug and to be told that it is ok. No more of this "You are a grown up, deal with life! You had a childhood and you wasted it!" NO I DIDN'T! I took care of my mom for most of the time, the only person that really loved me and had the power to make it better, and now even she is gone and I am dealing as best as I can. People just need to BACK OFF! And if I hear one more "grow up" I am going to beat some one and run screaming into the hills. I mean I am so on the verge of crying right now, I am trying to hold back the tears, and the thing is that I DON'T cry. I am not near "mister-monthly-visitor" and I just feel trapped and that I can't seem to get out. Time to push some people out of my life, people that aren't helping things, cause I can't deal with this kind of drama.

Plan:
1. Ignore "Mom." If she wants to talk to me she knows where I am. I am tired of calling and not being called.
2. Take some time off from life. Go something stupid and fun just once.
3. Read some books.
4. If anyone wants me... I will be in my trailor!*storms of the movie set* If they want to talk to me, they know where to reach me!
5. Have a good cry and set out to fix things.
6. GO TO A NEW SCHOOL!!!!!
7. Find some real happiness.
8. get some new friends
9. move on with life cause I am stuck
10. Stop making plans that are only gonna be crushed.

I know this all sounds very depressing and stupid, but I hurt inside and can't get rid of the feeling. I want to be loved. Hugged. Understood. just for a couple of minutes. To give me that warm squishy feeling. *cries*

Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha

Hello, Salute, it’s me your Duke
And I made something that’s real
To show you how I feel

Hello, Hello, it’s me Picasso
I will paint my words of love
With your name on every wall

When you leave my colors fade to gray
I need a love to stay or
All my colors fade away
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday

I sold my strings, my songs, and dreams
And I bought some paints to match the colors of my love
Hello, Hello, it’s me ,Picasso
I will spray my words of my love
With your name on every wall

When you leave my colors fade to gray
Little lover stay
All my colors fade away
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday

Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha

Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
Ma-Ya-Hi
Ma-Ya-Hu
Ma-Ya-Ho
Ma-Ya-Ha Ha

When you leave my colors fade to gray
Little lover stay
All my colors fade away
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday

I absoultely love this song, in fact I love the entire album that it came off of. Ok, most of it is in Romanian and Italian, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It makes me happy! *sings the Crazy romanian music*... That is my post for the day... I am just happy to have it! Oh, yeah. And my best friend/co-author and I have created a website that we can both work on to finish our book so it isn't like one or the other has everything, but it is infact in a place that we can get to it! Yay! *Dances off to Ma Ya Hi*